'My child understands the story' - Is this a compliment or a burden?

Every parent is advised to support their children to become an adult and steady.In the process of adulthood, there may be difficulties, problems, you can have this strength and not strong point, but no matter what, it is essential for me to build internal resources,Live strong and know how to behave.

However, living strongly, knowing how to behave, or a more simple way like the surrounding adults often say: "This child is very mature, knowing, understanding the story", it is a good compliment.A burden for children?

Ms. Pham Tran Kim Chi - Psychologist practiced positive psychology, founder of the Podcast "5 -minute learning to be a parent" also has an independent and autonomous son.She also asked the question: Whether when I understand the story, I am proud or tired because there is an invisible pressure on my shoulder?

Understand the story is tired?

Only 7 years old, her son can go to class alone, go home alone, can understand the lesson, do homework right in the classroom.She almost did not take any effort to teach her children to study at home, except sometimes when she reminded her school time and let her handle their own lessons.Sometimes, I focus on studying an hour, without any help of my mother.

"I am a 7 -year -old boy who has monthly pocket money. I use that money to buy school supplies, buy a mask. I read myself, stay at home alone, know how to go on the road and find it yourselfRoad when getting lost in the family area. Can be said, my child is a strong and strong child., Ms. Kim Chi shared.

But besides pride, this mother also has concerns.Wondering because you do not need the help of the mother, even when the pen is over and the mask."Is this a compliment for independence or being a burden on the shoulder of a 7 -year -old child?", Ms. Chi asked the question.

Ms. Chi is a very independent person.She identified her own goals, enough internal strength to strive for herself.She knows how to observe and support her loved ones, but rarely receive the opposite help from relatives.

"I think my relatives are very assured of me. In their eyes, I am a person who understands the story and is strong. I am proud of that. But is I tired? Do you want someone to help me?To give the correct answer.

Let me "understand the story", but there are 3 things to note

From her own experience to her child's story, Ms. Chi wondered: Should I believe that my child is proud, feels mature or has a burden to understand the story on his shoulder?And if in the second case, should parents teach their children not to be strong, understand the story and will cover their children in the stability and safety of the family?

The answer is no.No matter what, every child must grow up.No parents can cover the rain and wind for their children all their lives, we have to grow up by ourselves.But in the process of maturity, Chi said that there are 3 things parents need to note.

1. Prepare skills

Your child needs to prepare the skills for what he will do.You could not still cover your child the day, take it to pick up, check each spelling error, each mathematical ... and then tell me the next day: Self -sense, consciousness, you are older.

2. My mood as an adult

Should take advantage of all opportunities for you to understand why you need to prepare those skills, and why you should grow up like that.I go to school by myself because I can take the initiative to stay in school the way I like to play and talk to you.I do homework because I will actively know what I need to learn, what I need to review.I bought a pen, buying a mask because I can actively choose which one I like and fit you the most.

My mind when doing these things is because I take the initiative to grow up.And through that maturity, I choose what is right for me.This mentality is completely different from being passive, forced to grow up.Therefore, teaching skills is not enough, but preparing your mind is even more important.

3. What are your moods when you want your child to grow up?

My mind actually comes from your mind.Why do you want your child to grow up?Because you are very tired?Because you want to have time for yourself?You want your child to go home from school because you can stay outside and go home later?Do you want your child to learn the lesson because you need time to do other things?You want your child to buy school supplies because you don't have time to remember?

If you are in a mood like this, then when you grow up, you will be in an abandoned mind.It is forced to grow up.When your child buys school supplies, you don't know anything, you feel like you get less work.If so, my understanding of the story now is a burden.And, do you know about the change, ask about that item, a few times you suggest that your child wants you to buy together or not ... then everything will be much different.

"When you say you can do it and you don't care more, understand this is a burden.Your understanding of your child is a compliment for maturity.

Praise or different burdens in the mind when we do it active or passive.Is that I want that or I am forced to.I am confident to do or find myself lonely to do.Life always needs me to look back and find a balance ",Ms. Kim Chi shared.